Ministry Boundaries
8 Simple Ways to Create Boundaries
When I look back at my time in youth ministry, I see how much I struggled making clear boundaries. I want you to learn from the mistakes I made and help you to have a long-term healthy run in ministry leadership. Without boundaries, the chance of a quick burnout is high, and a burned-out leader is useless.
Below are eight simple ways to create boundaries and help you avoid burnout. What would you add?
1. If Jesus needed rest, you need rest. Everything starts with your relationship with Jesus. Remember, that He is the reason you are in church ministry. Jesus said, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me (John 15:5).” Your church leadership will only be as strong as your relationship with Jesus. Make that relationship your number one priority.
2. Be aware of the counseling drain. Counseling is often a role that many church leaders are expected to do but are not qualified to accomplish. Be ready to refer people in need to other counselors in the area. Do not feel guilty that you cannot help everyone. In fact, you could do more harm than good in trying to be a counselor. Lead from your strengths!
3. Ask strategic questions when you are asked to do something. Here are a few questions that you can use:
“What is most important right now?”
“Could someone else do this better?”
“What are the consequences if you say “No?”
“How will saying “Yes” affect your family?”
These questions will help you say “Yes” to the right thing and “No” to the wrong thing.
4. Have conversations with your spouse about boundaries. A big part of a boundaries plan needs to be an updated family calendar. With your spouse, decide your day off, and when your hours are flexible and when they are not. Before you say “Yes” to something outside of your normal schedule, talk with your spouse. If you have kids, make sure you are on the same page for your parental responsibilities. Never make assumptions that you and your spouse are on the same page regarding boundaries. Also, make sure this conversation happens frequently, because life circumstances and job responsibilities change.
5. Take a consistent day-off and use your vacation time. Your schedule is the battle ground and you will need to defend it. You, and you only, are responsible for protecting your schedule. I learned that the “walls” did not fall when I took time off, and it also allowed others to set up in my absence. If the ministry cannot survive without you, it means you have setup a narcissistic culture focused on you. Also, your vacation and study leave time is a gift and you need to use all of it!
6. Clearly share your boundaries with your supervisor. As mentioned above, you are responsible for protecting your boundaries, but it is also good to have advocates for you. If needed, ask senior leadership for help in this area.
7. Watch out for responsibility “creep.” This happens in every job. Your job description should be frequently reviewed to make sure that roles have not crept into your position that could be taking away from your main responsibilities.
8. Limit your accessibility and communicate it. Not everyone should have unlimited to access to you. For example, your spouse or kids should have unlimited access to you, but your supervisor should not. There are always times of emergency where you need to respond at late times, but these are usually infrequent. Communicate to others when you are available and when you are not!
If you want to make it long-term in ministry, boundaries must be prioritized. Not only will boundaries keep you healthy, it will also teach others. A part of leadership is being an example. People may not like your boundaries at first, but they will adapt and respect you in the long-run.
If you are interested in leadership coaching, you can contact us at bob@vision2-10.com.